So I am writing this in the Uber home. Went for the first time and was surprised and a little disappointed with myself. Everyone was really welcoming and kind and the people I talked to were really nice. I stayed in the hot tub the whole time and honestly ended up talking about video games and work most of the night. My problem was I had no idea how to join in the fun. There were multiple gorgeous girls. I did manage to get up the guts to ask one of they were interested but she politely declined which was not nearly as devastating as I had expected. I have two things I was looking for advice on.
1. How do I add Kik to my phone...... I can't seem to find a download and I think it would be easier if I could talk to someone in advance to get my *feet* wet
2. How the hell do you ask one of these girls to join you? I'll Ike if there with a guy is it okay? I tried just asking if a girl wanted to play around but it felt cringe worthy awkward. I feel like I am missing an integral part of the process.
Overall I will be back! Just maybe with more of a plan or with someone with me.
Finally if you were the nerdy girl in the hot tub, you are fucking gorgeous.
Here to experience a part of life I really haven't very much!
Best way with girls is to flatter the heck out of them. It has to be all about them and not your cock. lol
Best of luck trying to figure out women 😂 but seriously just be respectful and good things will come your way in general
I've found it enormously helpful to keep in mind that everyone who's there is there for similar reasons, including the women. Straight guys have a tendency to think that women merely tolerate male horniness and don't experience it themselves. They do, and that's part of why they're there. I should add that some folks don't actively participate and have plenty of fun just getting to be naked and watching others play. So, establishing what someone is looking for is a good launching point. I think it's great that you were able to have non-sexual chats. It keeps things relaxed and fun with no pressure. Definitely continue doing that. I would also suggest simply not asking to play. I promise you, she's gonna have countless guys going through varying degrees of effort to throw themselves at her. By establishing a rapport and not adding the pressure of a hookup like every other guy is doing, you not only set yourself apart, you also empower her with the ability to choose you if she wants.
Of course, she could also end up thinking you're gay and not make a move. That's a potential hazard, and has happened to me once or twice. but odds are if you're having a decent conversation in a bathhouse and you ask what she's looking for, odds are you'll also get an opportunity to talk about your own proclivities. It's also a good idea to maintain the expectation that she is NOT there by herself and likely has a primary male partner and is in an ENM situation. There are single women who venture there solo, but they aren't as common.
The fact that you're willing to have actual conversations with these women instead of standing there staring while silently jerking your semi actually already puts you a level above the others. Just gotta get your nerves relaxed.
This and a smile. I have had this discussion with some women there. There are lots of good looking and or fit guys that always look so angry and less relaxed. A smile goes a looooong way. Especially if its on your face all the time. I catch some guys flash a smile then when they think your not looking go right back to, what I call "hunting mode". Or they never crack one at all.
You sound like you are doing most of all the right things already by not having any expectations either. Keep it up! You already sound like someone I may be interested in while there.
Update!
I am going to show up again today and try to be a bit more bold and explore a little. Anyone else that replied going?
Here to experience a part of life I really haven't very much!
We are going, be there between 6 and 7. Don't be shy to ask my Dom partner for interaction.
There are lots of good looking and or fit guys that always look so angry and less relaxed. A smile goes a looooong way. Especially if its on your face all the time. I catch some guys flash a smile then when they think your not looking go right back to, what I call "hunting mode". Or they never crack one at all.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I know EXACTLY the face that you mean. I'm far too much of a goofball to try hooking up like that. There's a lot of guys that do it on the men only nights too, so it's not limited to straight men, either 😂 I think they associate that super serious no-nonsense attitude with being dominant and that's how they try to give off that vibe.
I agree that this dude comes across as legit and I wish him the best because he sounds like he's a better option than most.
@cdswitch you still around?
Here to experience a part of life I really haven't very much!
No sorry Fourtyguy, we left around 7:30. Thanks to all for making it a fun evening.
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