The Etiquette of an Adult Club: Tips for Newbies and Experienced People Alike
by AdventurousHotwife
January 22, 2022

Swinging is becoming an increasingly popular form of recreational activity for both couples and singles, and many are enjoying being able to explore fantasies at adult clubs. However, despite its popularity, there are still some social rules that should be followed when participating in this type of activity.

Whether you’re a newbie or an experienced attendee, it’s important to know the etiquette of an adult club so everyone has a great experience. Here are some tips for newbies and experienced participants alike regarding etiquette.

Consent is King

When visiting an adult club, it is essential to respect the consent of all guests. This means being aware of and adhering to each person’s stated boundaries and accepting no for an answer. This also includes touching; just because someone is naked doesn’t mean you’re allowed to touch them. If you’re not sure, ask. Never assume anything!

It’s no different for group play either; just because someone has given consent to the person beside you doesn’t mean it’s an open invitation to all watching.

For example: if someone has clearly stated they require a condom, it’s not okay to put one on and then remove it during play. It’s also important to note that consent can be withdrawn at any point, at any time and it must be respected. 

Harsh but true reality: If it’s not consensual, it’s assault. In the majority of adult clubs, this will get you banned for life. Always ask first.


Respect Personal Boundaries

Make sure all participants are comfortable with any activities about to take place before engaging in them. Don’t pressure anyone into doing anything they’re not comfortable with or don’t want to do. Also, be aware that just because someone agrees to something on one occasion doesn’t mean they have agreed to it again or that they have given permission forever.

Boundaries also come into play in all sorts of other situations. Many clubs have private rooms where people enjoy fun and games; this is NOT an invitation to ‘creep’ around and try to peek into these rooms or knock on the door to try to join. Generally speaking, a closed door means “do not disturb.” Sometimes when a door is left open it’s because people enjoy being watched. It doesn’t mean you can just walk in. Always ask permission before heading into someone else’s room. This is another boundary that needs to be respected.


If there is someone you’re interested in playing with, start a conversation with them. Step up and shoot your shot! And if it goes well, that’s great. But if not, respect their wishes.

Do not follow people around the club – including when people are arriving at the club or coming in or out of their room. Lurking and hoping is not a good look for anyone. It actually makes people incredibly uncomfortable. For the ladies especially, it can even make them feel unsafe or in danger, although men can feel that way as well. There are plenty of nicknames for this – zombie train, dick train, snail trail – don’t be one of them! Here again, if there’s someone you’re interested in, be bold and talk to them.

Public Play

The same goes for public play areas. There are a lot of people who enjoy being watched, and voyeurs who enjoy watching them. When there are couples (or more) in these areas, understand that it’s not an open invitation to jump in. You still need to ensure they’re welcoming other participants. 

When watching people in a public space, always give them room. You should not be standing within touching distance if you’re not part of the action. People can feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable when people aren’t respecting their space.

Communicate Openly and Honestly

Before getting involved, make sure both parties understand each other’s boundaries, limits, and desires. Everyone involved should feel comfortable enough to speak up if anything is making them uncomfortable during the experience. 

Remember we are all going to the club for different reasons. The more we communicate, the more enjoyable our experiences will be. So be open about what you’re wanting and be open to giving others what they want too.


Be Discreet

Remember that although swinging is intended to be a fun activity for those involved, it is still an intimate and potentially private matter between two (or more) people, Therefore, discretion is key. It’s best not to discuss details publicly as this could lead to awkwardness or embarrassment for all parties involved. We wouldn’t recommend posting anything online as a result.  

When it comes to taking photos or videos, this is absolutely forbidden in public play areas. In fact, unless you’re in a private room, your phone or any recording device should remain in your locker. Do not take them in any public areas, and never, ever, record someone without permission. 

If all parties have agreed, then you can take images or videos in a private room. If you choose to share photos or videos from your experience, make sure all participants have consented!

Hygiene Hygiene Hygiene!

This point can’t be stressed enough! That’s why I said it three times. Hygiene is especially important when engaging in sexual activities with multiple partners as it helps prevent STIs from spreading. When you first arrive at a club like SteamWorks, your first stop should be the shower.

Unless you’re engaging in a gangbang or group activity, it’s recommended you shower between sessions. That way you are clean for the next partner you have fun with.

In the case of SteamWorks, always shower before you get into the hot tub, just like you would a public pool or spa. There are multiple showers surrounding the hot tub area so have a quick rinse-off before you go and soak.


What to Wear?

Dress code: each club will have their own dress code, so familiarize yourself before you go. For example – at SteamWorks generally, the only people who are in full clothing are the staff. Most people are comfortable wandering around in their towel, some like to wear lingerie, and others like to go fully naked. All are encouraged!

Protection For Everyone

Lastly, and most importantly, always use protection. Most adult clubs provide free condoms, and SteamWorks is no exception. Use them. Everyone is there to have fun and nothing puts a damper on the lifestyle more than getting an STI. If you have an STI, you should not visit the club until it’s resolved. That is both unsafe and disrespectful to the community.

There will always be questions and “what-ifs” so talk to other people who have been in your shoes. And make sure to check out the SteamTalk forum, where you can ask your questions and there will be someone with an answer for you.

Following these simple tips can help ensure everyone has a great time while staying safe and respecting each other’s boundaries! Remember, communication, consent, and good manners will help ensure everyone has a good time. Have fun!