My wife and I visited Steamweorks our first time on Saturday (March 16th) around 10:00pm. I wanted to give feedback / review because we'd love to visit this place again but in its current state, I don't think I could convince my wife too. I am sorry if this is a little long, but being a business owner myself, I know feedback is golden from your customers. I hope management appreciates the time we took in writing this.
Here is a short run down of our experience.
We told the worker who greeted us we had never been here and would like a tour, he said they were way to busy, which was fine. We got paid up for a private room which was great. However the first red flag for us was no explanation about the rules whatsoever. Telling him we were new, I would have thought he'd do a complete run down of the rules. This is pretty common in the other clubs we go too. They talk about consent, their phone policy etc. If we weren't told the rules, how do we know everyone else knows the rules? This was dis-concerning. He told us to wait in the lobby, but didnt even tell us where the lobby was, so being nervous as first timers, wasn't a great entry experience.
After a bit of a wait, we got to our room and it felt very dingy and run down. To feel comfortable being naked / doing sexual activities, my wife wants a feeling of cleanliness, which this place did not give off at all. As we explored this feeling was only reinforced, with my wife uncomfortable to even sit or do anything pretty much anywhere. When we explored downstairs to the hot tub area, and went in the back where there was a bed with barely any light, my wife couldn't help thinking that this is exactly what a sex trafficking place would look like. She doesn't say this to be mean, this is honestly how she felt and knows this obviously isn't what SW would want or intend.
As we continued to walk around we ran into a lot of creepy men in this place. They would follow her around, or just patrol the place looking for people to watch. I understand that is kind of the point for some, but this can be done in a more respectful way. These creepy men are definitely preventing more women from coming to this place along with the dingy atmosphere. It was a complete sausage fest when we were there as well. Maybe 5 women max, to probably 30+ men. If you want more women, you need to limit the amount of single men, and ban the creepy ones flat out.
My wife wanted to leave by now, but I convinced her to stay and try and give the place a chance. We ran into some really nice people later on. We spoke to a few guys that were respectful, had pleasant conversation, asked if my wife wanted to play, and respected the 'no' immediately without issue. One of these people we talked to agreed with our assessment of this place overall. After lots of walking around, I finally convinced my wife lets do something in the wet steam room, which she agreed to in the very corner. BTW one part of the steam room is almost pitch black, which did not make her feel safe either. Before no time at all one of the 'patrolling' men came right up to us, however he was polite and asked if he could watch. This was nice to see and we agreed. After we finished we turned around and saw 3 more men watching who didn't ask which bothered my wife, one of them coming off quite creepy as well.
My wife then wanted to leave, as she just couldn't feel sexy in that place at all.
Suggested improvements from my wife, especially if you want more women showing up.
Oasis Aqua lounge in Toronto is what we were hoping this place would similar too. Fly out there and check it out! Its amazing, and if SW was more like that, we'd be coming every weekend!
I'll end with some positives!
Please feel free to ask any additional information or clarification. We think this place has a ton of potential!
One policy Im sure you'll like is that ladies get a room automatically. A d mandatory.
I agree that is a great policy. Is that in affect now?
Last Saturday when we were there we had to wait for a room to open for us
Last Saturday when we were there we had to wait for a room to open for us
Yeah, we had to wait for about 15m for the room to be cleaned and ready, which was fine.
@bolobao As the owner of Steamworks, I appreciate your comments. I have to admit that I also chuckled some. The majority of your suggestions are already planned and will be seen very soon. I chuckled because I thought you had read my mind or somehow knew the plan. Steamworks must be a safe place for everyone. We must eliminate those that cause others to not return. Our Saturday crowd has grown very nicely and it’s essential to protect that by eliminating the stockers and those that assume consent. As for the condition of Steamworks, I hear you and fully agree. Steamworks is 21 years old this year and the wet area shows it. Several years ago I began to contemplate a plan to begin upgrades. Unfortunately Covid had other plans. I have spent the last three and a half years juggling finances and robing Peter to pay Paul. In that time period I received about $225,000.00 in government grants, wage and rent subsidies. In early January I was able to repay my CEBA loan. It’s been a difficult and uncertain period but I’m very proud of my success of the last year and a half, attracting and welcoming several new communities to Steamworks and their response has been incredible. The present steam room is actually about 50% of the original steam room. We have already begun demolition of the other half and will soon shut down the current steam room completely in order to complete the plan. The showers will be next !
Thanks for your suggestions, stay tuned........
Cheers
@jimb Hey Jim, Some of us think you are doing a fine job keep the place going in a city that some might think was a small market for what you offer. When I was younger and had a wife who is now deceased, we used to swing. I know from experience how hard it is for a lady to learn to enjoy the lifestyle. My wife was very brave to agree to try it but she learned to enjoy it and we had adventures all over North America in clubs. Unfortunately she had passed away before SW went coed. For any ladies that have trouble the first time in, I do hope they will continue to try and find their way and have some fun. For my lady it became a whole new kind of challenge in adventure and living.
@jimb Hi Jim,
We really appreciate your response to our post. The Government lockdowns were just brutal on so many businesses, and we have a lot of sympathy for the impact and damage it caused. Good on you pulling through such a difficult time!
We are very excited to know that you are thinking in the same direction as us and that major improvements are already planned or under way. My wife has a surgery coming up, but after she recovers I know I can convince her to come again knowing the direction the place is moving, and hopefully with the improvement we would come often!
Take care,
Thanks Jim for making improvements and having a plan to continue to do that.
I have commented previously that Steamworks used to be a gay bathhouse and has, and continues to, morph into more of a coed place. Gay bathhouses have predominately been dimly lit. In fact most bathhouses have blackout days or times where it gets even darker for annonymous sex. The bathhouse etiquette is quite different than what couples or single females may be used to at other sex clubs. For example, in all the bathhouses that I have been to, it is just accepted that if sex is taking place in a public area of the bathhouse, a crowd of guys will gather around to watch. From that crowd of guys gathered around, sometimes group action starts and other guys will pair off. I have never seen anyone seek consent to watch a sex act in a public place.
I have noticed a change over the years as to consent to touch, but I would say in a gay bathhouse, touch used to be quite common. There is very little verbal communication in a bathhouse and touching someone has been a way to see if they are interested in playing.
There are probably lots of bi men who have frequented bathhouses over the years and a certain behaviour has been ingrained. It is definitely not the same as swing clubs or coed sex clubs. A man that has only attended bathhouses and then goes somewhere like Oasis Aqua would feel like a fish out of water with all the rules, just like you are finding it difficult without all the rules that you have experienced there.
Jim has done a great job of opening up SW as a coed facility, but it is that cultural change from strictly men only bathhouse to coed that is not complete.
While I like the idea of improvements, making the place more appealing for women on an infrastructure only level will inevitably backfire. More women will draw more straight men. Sure, the tiles are cleaner, but unless the problem behaviour of some clients is addressed, women will still be deterred by those problem clients.
Also, as the poster above said, there are some complaints being made that are more easily resolved. When I don't want to be watched having sex? I go to my room. Makes more sense than reaming out strangers for existing with functioning eyes in a public area
Not sure what others thought - but last night was noticeable change in atmosphere, where the lurking seemed less, only a couple of guys who followed and hung around creepily. We noticed an effort of the female staff to connect with the females as well. Overall a more enjoyable place to roam around last night. Thank you.
Unfortunately she had passed away before SW went coed.
So sorry to hear about your loss.
I am curious when did this place go coed?
Thanks Jim for making improvements and having a plan to continue to do that.
I have commented previously that Steamworks used to be a gay bathhouse and has, and continues to, morph into more of a coed place. Gay bathhouses have predominately been dimly lit. In fact most bathhouses have blackout days or times where it gets even darker for annonymous sex. The bathhouse etiquette is quite different than what couples or single females may be used to at other sex clubs. For example, in all the bathhouses that I have been to, it is just accepted that if sex is taking place in a public area of the bathhouse, a crowd of guys will gather around to watch. From that crowd of guys gathered around, sometimes group action starts and other guys will pair off. I have never seen anyone seek consent to watch a sex act in a public place.
I have noticed a change over the years as to consent to touch, but I would say in a gay bathhouse, touch used to be quite common. There is very little verbal communication in a bathhouse and touching someone has been a way to see if they are interested in playing.
There are probably lots of bi men who have frequented bathhouses over the years and a certain behaviour has been ingrained. It is definitely not the same as swing clubs or coed sex clubs. A man that has only attended bathhouses and then goes somewhere like Oasis Aqua would feel like a fish out of water with all the rules, just like you are finding it difficult without all the rules that you have experienced there.
Jim has done a great job of opening up SW as a coed facility, but it is that cultural change from strictly men only bathhouse to coed that is not complete.
Ahhh this is very insightful, and definitely explains the culture there compared to your traditional Sex Club. Thanks so much for this post, makes a lot of sense now!
Also, as the poster above said, there are some complaints being made that are more easily resolved. When I don't want to be watched having sex? I go to my room. Makes more sense than reaming out strangers for existing with functioning eyes in a public area
I understand this perspective, and I guess as has been discussed here, this 'consent' to watch culture comes from most LS / Sex Clubs we have been too. It operates under the idea that you may want to be have sex out in the open, but may not want some lurking / creepy person standing 1 foot away from you gawking that will throw the couple off. Generally, as we have experienced is people may glance over and or watch discreetly from a reasonable distance. But if you want to come up and stare front and center, you ask for permission.
A real world example of this is when we were at our regular sex club, there is a dedicated playroom there. My wife and I were enjoying each other and there was another young couple across the room on the couch. They kept looking over at us while they were playing. After a few minutes the man came over and asked "Hey is it ok if me and my girlfriend watch u2"? We said yes, and they moved spots to a closer bed right by us and watched while they played.
As my wife would say, some people watching her is hot, while others that give off the wrong vibe, would totally throw her out of the moment. And like I mentioned above, some areas there is / should be a blanket expectations you will be watched, like the PlayPen with the slides open. Oasis Aqua Lounge has something like this too, an orgy bed that has windows to view from the another rooms while also being wide open in the front. They tell you specifically if you choose to play there, you are giving full permission for watching from anywhere.
I agree its a little odd, but does seem to work well in practice that we've seen so far.
Exploring our sexual desires can be difficult and intimidating - especially when discovering your kinks and desires involve alternative practices. Unfortunately, due to stigmas and misunderstandings, those who are exploring alternative sexual interests may not always...
Swinging is becoming an increasingly popular form of recreational activity for both couples and singles, and many are enjoying being able to explore fantasies at adult clubs. However, despite its popularity, there are still some social rules that should be followed...
We get it, walking into a place like SteamWorks for the first time can be a daunting experience. It’s important to remember that everyone is there to explore their sexuality and have a good time, so keep an open mind and respect other people's boundaries. We do have a...